Kink as a sexual expression had being considered till very recently as Paraphilia, is a term created by psychoanalyst Wilhelm Stekel in the 1920s and consists of the Latin roots “para”– above or beyond– and “philia”– love. So literally, paraphilia stands for love that is above or beyond the norm, a psychological disorder, kinky sex was a mental illness, till very recently in 2010 when the American Psychiatric Association announced that it would be changing the diagnostic codes for BDSM. The change was the result of a massive effort from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), an advocacy group founded in 1997 “to advance the rights of and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities, in wish till then people were still being declared unfit parents as a result of their sexual preferences . Under the influence of the internet and later the bestseller book, “50 shades of grey ” and the movie, kink became mainstream there for some kind of acceptance, so there is now consider that all kinky play within the limits of consensual is not anymore an illness. Nevertheless Kink in general still a taboo, there is why for many is better to keep it quiet.
Tantra and Kink
Alternative sexuality is all sexual expression that is not conventional, where traditional sexuality with a common view that in sex you become stimulated, erect, and ejaculate all in a short time for the relief of tension and for sake of pleasure. which in the end It is a narrow point of view and leaves a lot to be desired and missing powerful erotic energy that has the potential to heal and transform. Alternative sexuality instead focus on the journey where is not important a goal or resolution.
In alternative sexuality . we can find two different aspects, `tantric sacred sexuality and, kinky sexuality. Kink is a term used to describe a wide range of sexual activities that are considered unconventional or unorthodox. Tantra comes from ancient Indian tradition, which means in Sanskrit: weaving and expansion. Tantra takes the approach that one should not only not reject the body and its desires, but actually, embrace them on the road to enlightenment. Tantra shares the view that sexual intercourse can be a sacrament and a means of spiritual transformation. Tantra is the transformation of vital energy in all its permutations, ultimately towards the goal of spiritual enlightenment. In this context sexual relations become sacred
kink sexuality is part of the dark side of eros, works around the shadow aspect of our subconscious, commonly refer as my dark side. in tantric terms, we can say that kink sexuality works often around the first, second, and third chakra, but when we talk about tantra and kink, we ad a new layer, the spirit, and the upper chakras, which through the heart chakra, love, and compassion, we join the spiritual and the profane aspect of eros. in one journey. Sacred KINK or Conscious Kink
Incorporating tantra techniques in our kinky journey can transform our experience; tantric touch and massage connect with the energetical body and the senses, yoga and breading techniques bring to our practice another form of awareness. I’m here, I’m present. Tantra and Kink together help us to know our light and shadow as two sides of the same coin two aspects of Eros. I chose the sacred because I can connect not only with my physical body but also the emotional and spiritual body.
The chakra system and Kink: In Tantra philosophy we learn that the chakras are energy centers in the human body,chakra means wheel or disk ( sanskrit ), place it along your spine , known as Shushuma channel, that is the most important is the main Chanel or Nadi , there energy moves from first chakra located at de botom of the vertebral column up to the head . We have 7 main chakras that cover various aspects of human emotions, needs, and desires. . The chakras are divided on telluric, connected to earth energy expreses on basic needs ,of shelter survival and spiritual chakras and cosmic energy, connected to the mind expression and spirit.
With Sacred sexuality we can explore fully our body, mind and emotions by connecting with all chakras , wish will be not only attending basic human need, procreation or pleasure as instant gratification , we adress the spirit and the sacred, the profane and the flesh togheter . love, creativity, expression, and pleasure as a path to knowledge. All This can be explore in fetish sexuality , then we are talking about sacred Kink , Conscious kink .What will make my kink expresion sacred ,the Journey must be in transformation path when i learn and grow helping to balance the chakras ,unbalance chakras had an emotional and physical manifestation in ourselef.
Muladhara our first chakra, “ I AM “. which is located at the end of the spine , the space between the anal outlet and the genital organ , color is red , planet earth and Saturn ,astrological signs Capricorn . Is the center where life force energy emanates, and represent all basic human needs that make possible their existence , shelter, survival, life, and death, security and structure . Kink sexuality connected to the first chakra is giving and receiving strong sensation,(pain ) and playing with fears, discipline , connecting with our primitive forces the animal desire and lust.(make myself to stand grounded )
Svadhisthana the sacral chakra,I feel , color orange , planet jupiter astrological sign , piscis and sagittarius located just above the genital organ and connect with creation, pasion ,expansion , desires, sensuality sexual pleasure, emotions and the polarities,femenine and masculine. Kink expression connected to the 2cond chakra is all fetishism, gender identity, polarities (I’m learning to enjoy with no shame)
Manipura the plexus solar chakra , I do, color yellow planets Mars , astrological signs aries and Scorpio, located above the navel correspond with the will power the energy that place life in motion, deal with acceptance and their opposite surrender, confidence and self-esteem and control. Kink expression is connected to the power exchange dynamic, domination, and submission play, all form of restraining and bondage, fire play (i empower myself)
Anahata the heart chakra, I love, the color green and pink, planets Venus and Uranus, astrological signs Taurus and Aquarium, located beneath where the rib cage meets; works with emotions, feelings, love, compassion. as Kink expression, when we connect with our feelings a let emotions have his own expression in the play, sensation play, touch and moving energy and connecting one another, rope bondage position where the heart the chest, focusing as an act of love and care. (i learn to feel and connect with my emotions and my partner )
Vishuda the throat chakra I speak, the color blue , turquoise,planets Mercury ,astrological sign , Virgo and Geminis , located at the pit of the throat, is the chakra of expression, communication, and creativity. As kink form, we address this chakra when we are able to communicate our feelings, limits, and desires, all play that connects with the use of the voice as a way of expression, taste as a form of sensation. Bondage position where the throat is exposing and gags. (i learn to say and express )
Agna: third eye chakra, l see color purple, planets sun, moon, Neptunus and astrological sign, cancer, Leo locate between the eyebrow, color purple connect with the mind, conscious and subconscious, dreams, intuition, and imagination, see the unseeing. To address this chakra in kink by including ritualism on the play, inviting the archetypes to play, and all sort of game that brings into a deep state, suspension bondage as a form of meditation, blindfold play, mummification. We go to the deep inside of us. ( i learn to use my intuition and see inside and outside )
Sahasrara: the crown chakras. I KNOW. color white, planet Sun, Jupiter astrological sign Sagittarius, located on the top of the head where when a child is born, there is a soft spot. , the color white represents wisdom and the mind, represents your spiritual connection to yourself, others, and the universe. It also plays a role in your life’s purpose. When we bring sacred sexuality to the kinky play we address this chakra.
A personal note : ” I myself come from the Theatre world and for many years have explored eroticism on the stage through comedy in the kinky scene. Till one day the play became real and I became the master of my own very real dungeon that tantra transformed into my temple. “
suspension